i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
