I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
