3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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