elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
