dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
