Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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