I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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