Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
