can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
