so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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