dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
