after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
