i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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