There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
