i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
