my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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