Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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