Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
