Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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