speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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