why do cheetos always look like penises
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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