question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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