If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm like, not good at living.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
