ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
