I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
