there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
