Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
