Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
