I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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