Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We have started to decorate penises.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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