Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID