Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d
  Replies (16) Good night (3245) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80
  Replies (59) Good night (704) Bad night (3521)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8069) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads. http://tfl.nu/xmw8
  Replies (33) Good night (8301) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME. http://tfl.nu/1mf6
  Replies (94) Good night (18318) Bad night (2805)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (2048) Bad night (8722)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday http://tfl.nu/c2dx
  Replies (12) Good night (4681) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain. http://tfl.nu/121u
  Replies (3) Good night (2270) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/lg3i
  Replies (6) Good night (1190) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water http://tfl.nu/62v1
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke
  Replies (13) Good night (964) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life http://tfl.nu/rr8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead. http://tfl.nu/1hea
  Replies (10) Good night (1439) Bad night (383)

Randomize