i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize