arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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