I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
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I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door