Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is this?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Who do you want it to be?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sarah Palin

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde

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  (978): Who is this? (407): Who do you want it to be? (978): Sarah Palin (407): I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde http://tfl.nu/hfjt
  Replies (4) Good night (2101) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.

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  (860): Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV. http://tfl.nu/ridn
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (2487)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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  (209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf
  Replies (56) Good night (4771) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart

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  (415): well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart http://tfl.nu/6v8e
  Replies (17) Good night (7636) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3823) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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  (843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1540) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

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  (503): A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money. http://tfl.nu/jqm6
  Replies (4) Good night (2070) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.

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  (651): You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work. http://tfl.nu/ixce
  Replies (4) Good night (1577) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else

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  (650): sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else http://tfl.nu/g0kz
  Replies (5) Good night (1510) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.

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  (502): I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this. (502): Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward. http://tfl.nu/u5vx
  Replies (11) Good night (1948) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live

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  (352): Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live http://tfl.nu/q9p0
  Replies (11) Good night (437) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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  (716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"

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  (425): It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord" http://tfl.nu/9kd9
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.

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  (615): I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/1rku
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.

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  (201): I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google. http://tfl.nu/votb
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (195)

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