The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
