Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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