i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is my gift to your gina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
