you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
