i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
