I think my vagina is haunted
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
