I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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