we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
honey bunches of taint.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
