Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize