Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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