My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Boobs are out for the taking
Of course I have a pirate flag
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
