He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
