I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
