I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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