Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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