What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
