3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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