in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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