When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
