I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
