so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
