i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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