I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
