Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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