OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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