there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
