I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
