I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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